Tuhan Maha Tahu

Memang kita tidak bisa memaksa Tuhan untuk memberikan semua yg kita inginkan. Mungkin Tuhan tidak memberikannya karena Tuhan ingin melindungi kita dari bencana, karena Tuhan tahu kita tidak akan mampu menanggungnya, karena Tuhan tahu kita lebih berhak untuk mendapatkan yang lebih baik, dan mungkin Tuhan lebih sayang kita. Kemungkinan2 itu berputar2 di benak kita tatkala kita tidak yakin apakah memang ini semua yg pantas kita dapatkan? Bukan bermaksud menghujat Tuhan, tapi kita hanyalah manusia yg lemah, yg banyak menuntut, sementara ketika kita dituntut untuk lebih baik sedikit saja oleh Tuhan, kita mengeluh panjang lebar, Tuhan, saya sibuk sekali, sehingga saya terlalu capek untuk bangun malam, atau Tuhan, rejeki bulan ini sedikit, mana mungkin saya bisa membantu yg lain? Sigh! Kemungkinan2 yg terus menari2 di benak kita, akan menjadi suatu keyakinan ketika kenyataan itu datang, entah kenyataan pahit ataukah manis. Oleh karena itu Tuhan, karena aku tidak tahu kenyataan mana yang akan aku dapatkan dariMu, aku lebih baik menyerahkan segala urusanku padaMu, karena hanya Engkaulah semata tempatku bergantung, berkeluh kesah, tempatku memohon. Tuhan, aku memohon perlindunganMu dari sesuatu yg aku tidak tahu hakikatnya.

Bingung di mall

2 hari yang lalu akhirnya bisa ketemuan jg dg adikku yg datang dr Solo. Qta ketemuan di salah satu mall besar di Jakarta Selatan. Berangkat dg penuh percaya diri, naik taxi, tetep aja ditanya: "lewat mana bu?" huh, paling jengkel kalo naik taxi ditanyain gitu. Untung, udah sms suami. Jadi sok tau aja, belok sini pak, puter balik pak. Hehehe. Udah gitu, jalan2 sendiri kayak orang bingung. Ngeliat2 ke sana ke sini, adikku ga datang2 jg. Akhirnya setelah 1 jam dia datang. Senengnya bisa ketemu. Cari oleh2 deh buat mama dan kakak2 jg ponakan2. Tapi ga semua dpt :( Kira2 1,5 jam, pulang. Nah, ini dia yg bikin pusing. Suami akhirnya bisa jemput aku. Tapi krn naik motor, jadi cuman nunggu di depan mall. Aku diajakin saudara ipar adikku bareng ke parkiran mobil, kirain mau diajak naik mobilnya, trus diturunin di depan, ternyata adikku ga ngerti jg maksudnya apa, ya udah drpd bingung, aku balik lagi. Dari situ udah terjadi kebingungan. Masih dlm kondisi bingung, suami nelpon lagi. OMG, makin bingung deh. Akhirnya krn bingung ga ketulungan, ga bisa nemuin jalan keluar mall! What a shame! Keluar dari mall aja ga bisa. Sigh! Setelah setengah jam muter2, naik turun, sambil jalan, aku menenangkan diri, dan merunut lagi dr arah aku datang. Ya ampun! Ternyata hanya puter arah aja dari arah aku tersesat. Karena panik dan bingung krn udah ditungguin suami, jadi ga bisa ktemu pintu keluar deh. Udah di luar, ternyata suami nunggu di tempat yg bukan di maksud. Hadoh! Aku kasih ancer2 aja, untung deh akhirnya ktemu. So, I've learned my lesson that feeling panicky doesn't solve anything. Semakin panik, semakin bingung, semakin muter2. Lain kali jangan bingung ya :)

Rasanya lama sekali

Menunggu bulan depan dapat haid lagi, rasanya lama.... pengennya sih ga dapat, langsung hamil aja :) jadi tar ketemu dokternya bukan buat SIS tapi buat konsultasi kehamilan. Masih 1 mingguan lagi....

Kunjungan Ke Androlog

Setelah dapet hasilnya hari Kamis, aku memutuskan untuk kontak dg Androlog di rumah sakit yg sama. Blm konsul dg DSOG ku sih, tp krn di hasil lab nya ada tulisan rujukan ke Androlog buat suamiku, aku tweet deh DSOG ku, dia bilang langsung aja ke Androlog. Dan akhirnya Jum'at kemarin aku ke rumah sakit lagi dg suami. Ada yg lucu sebenarnya. Suamiku langsung dari kantornya. Dia bilang mau berangkat jam 5 aja, kan dokter nya jam 6 katanya. Ya sudah, jadilah aku pergi ke RS sendirian naik taxi. Aku BM dia jam setengah lima kalo aku udah di taxi. Singkat cerita, sampai RS jam 5. Langsung ke bagian pendaftaran.
Suster: Yang periksa suami kan bu?
Aku: Iya Sus. Nanti dia nyusul dari kantor.
Suster: Kalo gitu, form nya diisin aja ya bu.
Aku: OK.
Waktu dialog dg suster itu, ada laki2 yg berdiri deket2 aku, aku cuek aja, ga nengok ga apa. Eh tau2 laki2 itu bilang: Suruh ngisi apa? Aku pun menoleh, dan ternyata.......Suamiku!!! Langsung deh cekikikan berdua. Habis dari tadi ternyata dia udah ada di situ. Dasar istri yg super cuek. Suami di samping sampai ga tau. Hehehe.Susternya pun senyum2.
Trus udah dpt kartu buat suamiku, kita masuk ke poli kebidanan. Suami ditanya2 datanya, dan waktu nimbang badan, susternya nanya: berapa pak? Suamiku: 110. Dannn..... susternya pun ketawa....hehehe. Suamiku bilang: Sialan, malah ketawa. hehehe. Sabar, say.
Akhirnya jam 5:45 dokter datang. Kita dpt giliran pertama. Dokternya udah senior. Tp baik ternyata. Very communicative. Alhamdulillah. Dijelasin bahwa hasil tes sperma suamiku ternyata ga ada problem yg serius banget. Jumlah nya masih bagus banget. Cuman kualitasnya aja. Jadi disuruh diet, dan intinya to have a healthy life style deh. Alhamdulillaaahhh... lega deh. Ok dok, qta akan mulai sungguh2 :)
Rencana buat konsul dg DSOG ku hari Sabtu ini pun batal, krn suster bilang ga perlu konsul dulu, tar aja pas haid hari ke 2 bulan dpn. Ya sudah. Nunggu gajian juga nih.... krn dokterku bilang perlu SIS (tiup rahim) tar mens hari ke 9........sigh, mesti siap2 mental lagi deh. Bismillaah...

Hasil HSG dan Analisis Sperma

Akhirnya setelah dag dig dug beberapa hari, pagi ini saya dan suami mengambil hsl lab kami. Ngintip dulu di lobby rumah sakit, dan berusaha menebak2 maksudnya hehehe. Sepertinya apa yg dikhawatirkan terjadi. Baik aku maupun suamiku ada ketidakberesan. Anyway, kita masih harus konsul ke dokternya. Pun, udah siap2 tar apa yg dibilang dokter. Msh harus nunggu lagi besok Sabtu. :(
Hasil HSG ku dinyatakan tuba fallopi kiri paten, dan yg kanan non paten. Ada filling defect juga di uterus. Waduh apa maksudnya itu? Tapi dari istilah nya aja defect ::::( nangis dah rasanya.
Sementara hasil suami dinyatakan asthenoterazoospermia. setelah nanya mbah Google, itu berarti banyak sperma yg ga bagus. :(
Apapun itu, I still have my confidence to go on and to have faith in you and only YOU, Allah. Engkau yg Maha Kuasa...
 Yah, maksudnya ga mau nangis, tetep aja nangis.... cengeng nih....
Suamiku, aku akan tetap mencintaimu .....cieee :)

Menjalani Test

Setelah menunggu 7 hari, akhirnya datang juga hari H nya, dimana aku dan suami harus menjalani test. Kami tiba di RS jam 13:10 langsung menuju laborat, krn jadwal HSG ku masih jam 3. Ternyata kami masih harus menunggu lagi sampai jam 2. Setelah 45 menit menunggu, kamar telah disiapkan. Suster bilang, "anggap rumah sendiri ya Pak, Bu." hihihi...mana bisa sih Suster? Anyway, we did the test, dan hasilnya masih hari Kamis. Jadi masih harus menunggu lagi. Setelah urusan suami beres, giliranku. Jam 3 akhirnya Dokter datang. Wah dokternya sereeemmm... Nunggu 15 menit, terus disuruh isi data, surat pernyataan dari Suami gitu deh. Trus giliranku pertama. Waktu itu ada 2 pasien yg test hsg, aku dan 1 pasien lagi. Untung giliran pertama. :)

Setelah masuk ruang radiologi, ganti baju operasi, duduk di meja rontgen. Pak dokter siap menunggu. Dan kateter dimasukkan. Susternya ngajakin ngomong terus, dan ngelucu juga. Pak Dokter pun juga ikutan ngelucu. Jadi lumayan lah ga tegang2 banget. sambil ngobrol, waktu cairan dimasukin, suster bilang nafas yg dalam dan keluar lewat mulut... trus disuruh dorong badan dg tumit buat ngepasin ke foto rontgen nya. Dan akhirnya difoto juga. Mules sih tapi dikit. Kayak kalo mens gitu. rasanya di pinggul. Trus pak dokter kasih saran untuk posisi setelah berhubungan. Aku ga ngerti kenapa posisinya seperti itu yg disarankan. Let's just wait apa nanti yg dikatakan Obgyn nya.

Habis foto selesai, bersih2 di kamar mandi dan pake pembalut. Ternyata berdarah juga. Tapi dikit kok. So, yg mau HSG ga usah kawatir ya..... ga sakit kok. :)

A 3-day trip to Hongkong (part 3) "The last day"

We were really tired last night. So, after praying Subuh, we went back to sleep. But we couldn't really sleep anyway, so we just chatted. Then, we started to pack everything. We didn't really want to go back home yet anyway. We like the country. It is really clean. The transportation systems are great. We only need to have a card, well if you don't want to buy one, it's okay though, you can pay cash, then we only need to tap the card on the machine. The value will be deducted. Anyway, we have to go back to our hometown. We had the last breakfast in the hotel. This time, we ate more than we did yesterday. He he. And we just waited in the hotel. Then at around 9:30, we checked out and waited for the shuttle bus that would take us to Hongkong Station. From Hongkong station, we did the city check-in, and we walked around the station while waiting for the airport express train. At around 11:30, we arrived in Hongkong International Airport. We prayed first, then we had lunch. Yes, there's a praying room there, eventhough only 1 room, we were glad we could find it there. After that, we just did sight seeing. There are many shops there in the airport. Actually there are only 2 terminals, terminal 1 is for departure, and 2 is for arrival. In each terminal, you will find many shops. We waited for the boarding time. And finally at 4 pm, we boarded and flew back to Jakarta. And we're finally home. :)
Hope one day we can go back there. :)

A 3-day trip to Hongkong (part 2)

On the second day in Hongkong, we woke up very early in the morning, well at 5:30 a.m. But I guess, that's still early :) We had our plans on the 2nd day. Before we went to some places, we had breakfast in the hotel. Since we don't know which food is Halal for us, and which is not, so we only had bread, potatoes, tomatoes, and fruit. Then, we grabbed our map, and went to Tai Yuen Street. We walked there. It was about 10 minutes only. We wanted to go to Tai Yuen market. It is said that there are many stalls that sell cheap stuffs, like toys, clothes, souvenirs, etc. It was still 8 a.m. when we arrived there. The market wasn't open yet. Sigh! we just walked around the Tai Yuen Street. And we decided to go back to the hotel, and just headed to Stanley market, after asking the receptionist how we could go there. Then we took city bus number 6. The bus is just like double decker in London. Hmm....this is very interesting though. The trip to Stanley Market was such a winding road. The driver must be very skillful to drive along the way up to Stanley market. It is worth it anyway. We could see a stunning view from the bus. It took us about 30 minutes to go up to Stanley. We walked around the place. We compared the prices, then we rested for a while at Stanley Beach. Then, we bought some souvenirs for family and friends.
After that, we went back to the hotel. Before going back there, we stopped at KFC to have take-away lunch. After taking some rest for about an hour, we went to Queen Elizabeth Stadium to watch Hongkong Super Series 2010. Actually that's the reason why we could go to Hongkong. We won the grand prize. We only watched Taufik Hidayat. Then we went to Times Square. Wow!!! That was my first comment. It was really crowded there. A sea of people! We got in the Times Square mall. Nice Mall. And we saw people waiting for "Gucci" shop to open. They were queueing just to get discounts at Gucci shop! There's one thing that I notice though. Girls in Hongkong were crazy about wearing boots and tight pants. I felt like an alien falling from Mars. What the heck. :)
I peeked a price of a nice purse that I liked, and thought I could buy it for my mom. But when I saw the price, hmmm.... way too much of my budget. Okay, it is still much cheaper though comparing to the price in Jakarta. still, not in the budget. We didn't feel really comfortable there, coz it was too crowded. So, we decided to go to Causeway to Jardine's crescent and Bazaar on foot. I think on the second day, we had walked as far as 10 kms. Hehe.There I found what my sisters wanted and bought some things for my niece. Before going home, we stopped at an Indonesian restaurant. The Indonesian workers in Hongkong always go there. But we were very surprised,we ate only Gado-Gado and drank Es Kelapa Muda, we had to pay 120 HK$. That cost a lot. Much cheaper eating at KFC. Feeling satisfied with what we got, we went back to the hotel. Then, we had supper and went to bed. What a very tiring day. Sigh! Have a nice sleep buddy.

a 3-day trip to Hong Kong (part 1)

It was such a nice surprise when my husband told me that we were going to Hong Kong. I couldn't believe him. But he assured me that yes we were going there. Well, let me just make this note short :)
We left for Hong Kong on 11 Dec 2010. We went to Soekarno Hatta Airport at 5:30. After we took care of everything, like immigration procedures, then we were just waiting in the boarding lounge. We flew with Garuda. After waiting for hundreds of minutes :), finally, the boarding time. During the flight, there were times the weather was not really nice, bumpy flight, air turbulence, etc. Then, after about 4 hours and 30 minutes, we arrived in Hongkong at 15:50. Then,  we headed to the hotel by taxi. So, this is Hongkong, I said to myself. It took us about 45 minutes to get to the hotel. Then after we had our meals and rested for a while, at around 19:30 Hongkong time, we went out for a walk. And we decided to go to Hongkong Convention Center to enjoy the "Symphony of Lights" by the hotel shuttle bus. Wow! it was sooooo beautiful. Even though we were actually tired, the wind blew so hard, and it was such a cold night, we really enjoyed the moment. Unfortunately we didn't see the Golden Bauhinia. it was covered temporarily. I have no idea why they covered it.Then at 8:15 we decided to go back to the hotel. We were trying to find the shuttle bus, but couldn't find it. After some times, we took a taxi to go back to the hotel. And we went to sleep....

It really gets on my nerves

Dear Allah, 

It's really getting on my nerves now. On on side, I'm excited to go through all of this. But on the other side, I'm scared, too. I've been trying to be relaxed, yet it's not as easy as I thought. I feel curious, scared, and excited at the same time. I keep my fingers crossed that everything will be just fine.

Thank You for today

I was teaching children's class when somebody knocked on the door. She opened the door and just looked at me. I asked her if there was anything I could help. Then she asked, "Did you miss anything?" I said, "I don't think so." "Are you sure?", she asked me again, "How about your cell phone?" ................trrriinnngg....I remembered that I left my cell in the toilet! Oh my! Then she handed in my cell phone. Phew! That was really relieving. Never will I bring my cell phone in the toilet again. Thank You Allah for still letting me have my cell phone. Keep blessing me, keep protecting me and my family.

Let Allah take care of the rest

Finally my hubby and I decided to see an obgyn. I've searched some on the internet and I found one that I think he's nice.
It was Monday morning. We left the home at 8. After taking care of the registration, we waited for an hour when finally a nurse told us that the doctor would come late. Well, it's okay. We tried to make ourselves comfortable.
Finally the doctor came. It was 10:45, 1 hour and 45 minutes late.
We went in. The doctor asked some basic questions. Then he observed me. It was really my first time to be observed like that. I was having my period and the doctor observed my uterus through my v. Oh well, he's a pro. He's really communicative. While observing me, he told me what he saw. Finally it was finished. Then the doctor prescribed us some vitamins and had us do some tests. We're going to do the tests next week, which is on the 13 of June 2011. I've searched on the internet that HSG will be painful. Well, I think I need to prepare myself. We'll see what happens. Que sera sera.
God the Almighty, it's one of the months that you bless. Whatever You will give us, bless us something that You consider the best for us. You know what's best for us. We only can make some efforts, let Allah take care the rest of it.